Not all motivation is created equal
I wasn’t a particularly sporty kid. I enjoyed netball and athletics but the social ‘pressures’ of team sports at an all girls school were enough to put me off really throwing myself into it. As I grew up I developed a love-hate relationship with exercise. I’d go to all sorts of classes - think step, aerobic and body pump classes (remember those!) or wrestle with the clunky machines at the gym, but as great as I felt afterwards it used to feel like punishment dragging myself there and being forced to look at myself in a mirror for an hour. It brought out so many insecurities and negative thoughts. I never felt good enough. I felt I had to look better before I could even turn up which sounds ridiculous as I type it but it’s the truth. It all felt about how I looked - both in the exercise classes but also the reason for going in the first place. And I never really committed to it.
In my late twenties I discovered an outdoor morning bootcamp on my local common in Tunbridge Wells. I remember turning up on my own feeling very nervous that first day but what I found was so different to the gym experience. I loved the feeling of exercising outside in the fresh air. The camaraderie of the others there. The strength I could feel in my body as I used the weight of it to challenge myself. I turned up day after day, week after week and couldn’t imagine my life without it. It was brilliant.
Fast forward a few years and a marriage, house move and babies later and I found myself trying to reconnect with this exercise-loving self again. I struggled. I tried online classes, DVDs, running but once again I found myself in a stop-start-cycle. I got more and more frustrated with myself as I failed to fully commit week after week.
They say that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity so finally I paused and allowed myself the time and space to work out what was going on for me. What was so different between the 5-6 times a week bootcamp-me and this commitment-phobe?! The answer was so simple. I’d fallen into the trap of my youth. Of trying to use how exercise would make me look to motivate me. A trap that took me right back to feelings of insecurity, comparison and not being good enough.
I’d forgotten that what motivates me to exercise is how it makes me feel. That the minute I divorce it from my body image and hook it up to my strength, energy and mental health everything changes for the better. And just like that, with that one lightbulb moment, she was back. The Emma that shows up for herself 3-4 times a week and invests in herself. The Emma that doesn’t care if she’s the fastest or the slowest because the only competition is with what she managed last time. The Emma that just wants to move her body because she can - not because she is hoping it will make her thinner or prettier!
And so when I turned up to my first class with The Enjoy Movement (again on my own and nervous which I think is natural) it was like stepping back onto that Tunbridge Wells common again. Fresh air, good music, great people and a chance to move my body to the beat of my own drum. And I knew I’d be coming back…and back…and back. I wasn’t wrong - even through the chaos of lockdown I have showed up for myself and it’s been amazing to be able to work out with the same smiley faces despite the physical distance between us.
When you connect with your authentic “why” you’ll find your unstoppable motivation. All those years exercising because I thought I had to look a certain way (and losing heart when I didn’t end up looking like the airbrushed version of someone) I had been led by a “why” that society had unwittingly forced me to believe.
But being the strongest version of me? Having lots of energy? Investing in my mobility and mental health? Being a brilliant role model to my daughter and getting her to see how fun it can be to move and feel strong? I’m 100% committed to that.
See you in class ;-)
Emma Jefferys aka Action Woman is a qualified coach, NLP practitioner and emotional intelligence expert. Her mission is to help people get out of their own way so that they can live the life they deserve to have. Working with Emma is an empowering experience and a sure-fire way to work out what you want to be, have or do and then make it happen with both accountability and support.
You can find her at www.actionwoman.co.uk or over at instagram.com/action___woman